I have been trying to make sense of all the things that have happened to me this previous year. It’s been a painful year. One filled with many disappointments and many setbacks but I know in the deepest, most sacred parts of me that I have been strengthened, enlightened and made new. I know it because I think differently about life, I see things differently, I’m more appreciative, more sympathetic and more aware in a way that I could never have been otherwise.
I am sure this was your plan. I am sure that if any brokenness needed to take place it was so that it would take me to a higher consciousness and to a deeper place of love. I am sure it was only so that my old self could die, so that my ego and fear based thoughts would die, it was so my old ways could die to give life to the real me – the spiritual me. The child of God me. The me you formed before eternity. The me you created for a divine purpose and with a specific intent in mind.
Father, I am not saying I have attained. I am not saying I am now everything you had in mind. I am not even saying that I have “passed the test”. But I am saying that I get it.
With my whole heart I get it. And I am committed to your purpose. Search my heart. If it were not true, surely you would know.
I AM saying that I understand I had to go through what happened so I could grow. I am saying I understand some things I needed to atone for and I know some things I needed to let go. I am saying that I am your child and I am here: arms and heart outstretched, ready to love and to serve. Ready for my divine assignment, and I am saying with my current trouble there is no way I can focus on what you would have me to do.
So I am saying: I declare it over. I declare it finished. I will not remain in Lo Debar not one minute longer than is necessary. Jesus said he came so that I could have abundant life. I am claiming it. I am owning it. I have packed up the tent I pitched and I am leaving. This is not real. There is no way that is this my real life. There is no way that THIS is the life you have ordained for me to live. It just cannot be so. I choose to believe that all of us must at some point endure suffering. I choose to believe suffering serves a purpose. I believe I got my lesson and there is no more need for mine.
I return to my natural state of wealth, abundance and happiness. I return to my natural state of love. I choose to believe that miracles are making their way to me, that I did my time and the freedom I feel inside of me, the wealth I feel inside of me, the love I feel inside of me, is an indication that this is over and it is now ready to manifest in the physical realm. I am a child of God. Wealth is my nature. Abundance is my birthright. I believe this suffering is over. Here in this divine moment, the past can no longer touch me, and all good things ordained for me are on their way to me, as I pray.
Father, I need you. I surrender all to you. I ask you to do for me what you know I cannot do for myself. I believe the way is made and it is already done. Align my thoughts with yours. Align my ways with yours. Fill me with your vision for me and give me the will, the courage and the wisdom to execute as you instruct.
I rely on your divine guidance.
I live, walk, breathe, move in your love. Amen.
7 thoughts on “My prayer”
I can so relate with this prayer! It’s like my deepest thoughts have been brought alive in your words.
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Blessings to you! Sometimes all we need to keep going is knowing we are not alone.
To be honest, I am not a religious person.
Not because I don’t believe in higher power because I do. I believe in karma, I believe in being connected to something bigger and more powerful than me, something that reduces me to a grain of dust that moves with a natural flow that I can’t comprehend or see with this body. Some call it God, Brahman, Allah, One, Conciousness, Energy… However, I don’t like religion, mostly because it tends to do more harm than good as if seen in the past and the wars it caused. Another reason, because most people say they are religious than use it as a excuse to do things and call themselves holly.
As such, it is nice to see that someone focuses on the real messages of life. Of kindness and love, of bettering oneself. I am happy to know that it hasn’t been compeletly lost and by your blog, it seems it hasn’t. I wish you the best of luck in finding peace and contentness.
I also read your previous blog about the restlessness. This has been a difficult year and it will continue on for some time. People will most likely feel restless, stressed, confused, like they are losing solid ground. It is a normal process, one foreseen and just a natural flow things. there must be bad periods in time to have the good ones.. The best you can do, is do what you did until this point and to pray.
I recently read a book that i think you might find interesting and if you are ready for it, a life altering in its way, adding to the things you already do in your life. It is called Zero Limits by Joe Vitale. It helped me, maybe it will help you.
Lots of peace and love
Thank you for your kind words. I totally understand your point about religion, so many pervert it to justify their own evil. But I often say that’s on them. It doesn’t diminish my faith, only strengthens it. We must come to know God for ourselves not based on what we see others say or do, because fact is people aren’t always sincere or consistent with what they say they believe and how they act out that belief. Peace and love to you as well, I will definitely check out that book. Your words of encouragement made my day.
Poignant. Simply elegant. I love that your writing and your blog are so devoid of gimmicks. There is a peaceful simplicity to your honesty and writing that is stunning. It really pierces to the heart.
I relate so much to what you write. I too am a single Mum, on a wild journey, going through valleys I never dreamed. I catch glimpses of mountain top peaks, waiting to be summited, but sometimes fear the lack of strength to reach.
It sometimes feels like having my head put under water for one moment too long, and I break the surface huffing and puffing, sputtering to breathe. And yet, in the distance, I see it…God beckoning me on, one more step, one more millisecond of faith. I so wish He showed more of the future, sometimes, just so I would know where we are ultimately going. But alas, I catch glimpses that shimmer like icicles on tree top branches, enough to compel me forward but not enough to illuminate the whole journey ahead.
I feel like I have found a friend through your blog. Thank you.
Thank you for your kind words. You have truly affirmed everything I hoped to accomplish when I started this blog. We are so much more connected than we are able to realize while going through the routine of our daily lives. Sometimes it is our faith that binds us, sometimes it is our pain. Either way, by coming together we can learn from and strengthen each other. Just remember the walk with God is a faith walk, he doesn’t reveal so you can walk, as you walk, he reveals. I’ve made enough “blind jumps” now that I trust him completely. So just keep walking.
I’m happy you have been blessed by the blog, feel free to stop by and connect anytime. Blessings and peace to you.
I stumbled upon your blog via The Praying Woman and have been in awe as I read. From the blog post to the comments I heard so much that resonate with me so well. Having gone through a tumultuous 2014 and still struggling to keep my head above water in 2015. I hold on to This too shall pass. I have always considered myself spiritual rather than religious. I too never really subscribed to any particular doctrine..I most definitely believe in a higher power whom I choose to call God..I am a living testimony how from wence I came to where I am now God is real. I too believe each person develops their own personal relationship with a God of their understanding.
Thank you so much for sharing your blog with the world.